On Letting Go

How to be present and take back control of your life. Not that great music album by Circa Survive

I am not a Buddhist nor have I dipped into the philosophy much more than a view YouTube videos here and there. But life has a way of serendipitously bringing you answers when you need them the most. You just have to be willing to listen. The irony is this lesson comes from coming to peace with selling my car, only to ultimately not do so. But what I learned during my grieving process of potentially selling my first car, a gorgeous 2016 Prius-C named Gisele, is that in order to take back control of your life, is to realize how little control you have on it. This struck a chord with my psychology studies way back when.

While easier said than done is true, with every moment we are wrought with despair or anxiety about the world around us we have an opportunity. Remember there is one thing you can control. How you experience it. Combining stoicism, psychological schemas, and a touch of Buddhism, I learned to accept the pain of losing my first car. Understanding I can only be so happy because at one time I have sadness to juxtapose it with. And these are all the wonderful different colors of the human palette of experience. For it would not be possible without adverse challenges in our lives to learn our weaknesses and become the best version of ourselves.

Everyone’s journey through life is different and we must embrace our emotions. But never let ourselves become our emotions. Do you find yourself listening to music in the minor key, i.e. blues, emo, etc. ? Do you find yourself feeling better after singing that song that brings you back to a sad place in your life? This is acceptance. We must accept that we will feel angry to understand joyousness. We must never devote our lives to avoiding negative feelings as they are the balance from where we draw our perspective. We can only be grateful for the things we love because at some point we were reminded how fleeting they can be.

Esoteric philosophical and spiritual “isms” are great for sounding like an enlightened individual. But you may be asking yourself, “how does this apply real life.” Especially considering the divided state of our society! Regardless of your opinions surrounding the Trump trial, it can be an extremely upsetting prospect to ruminate on all the potential consequences. But your time to cast your vote is in November. There is a lot more time between then to remind yourself of the beautiful things that make life worth living.

As an expectant father, I am certainly troubled by what world I will be raising my child in. With the due date coming closer though, my views and values have come into extreme clarity. Focus on how beautiful today’s sunset is because it may be crummy weather tomorrow. Enjoy the frustration of that obstacle slowing down your important project because once achieved, it will be that more satisfying. Know now that you can only be so sad because at one point you were that much happier. And will be again, if you choose to allow it.

“Wul, yeah, and I'm SAD. But at the same time I'm really happy that something can make me FEEL that sad. It's like... It makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really GOOD before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a 'beautiful sadness'... I guess that sounds stupid.”

Don’t seize the day. Embrace it.